Lies and Pretense

My memories of the past

Have always contained you

At the heart of it all

For you built my core.

In the present filled with pain

I cannot fathom why

Where has the you gone?

The you that I knew so well.

You were my light

So benevolent and kind

You taught me to live

And I would live for you.

Yet I am led to believe

That I’ve been wrong all along

That maybe you’ve always hurt

Covered in despair and darkness.

I was blinded by your pretense

Of alrights and I’m fine

I saw only what I wanted to see

Never the pain you hid inside.

My eyes were blinded

To the real you that hurt me

I tried to believe instead

That you were just drunk on lies.

I cannot look away now

I cannot unhear

The truth of the words you spill

From your lips that smells like alcohol.

I mourn for the you

That shined so brightly before

The you that I hope

Was not a lie from the start.


The days are bright and beautiful. You’re smiling benevolently, and you’re kind. You teach us the ways of the world, the best way you know how. We listen and we learn. Those are the days that light up my life.

There are nights that are filled with despair and darkness. You’re hurling insults, and you shout at us. You call us names that we don’t understand. We huddle together in fear, watching you, wondering what has become.

It is as if you’re a changed person. Mr Hyde has come to play when Dr Jekyll goes to sleep. The dark night looms, but dawn breaks in the end. Then you smile at us once again, and we pretend.

We don’t speak of the dark nights when the days are bright. We pretend that they’re figments of our imagination. Only the bruises on our bodies remain, and the poison left in our veins. We pretend that the poison doesn’t corrupt our hearts and minds, leading us to cry on nights alone. We pretend that we don’t try to let the blood seep out from our veins on those dark nights. We pretend that all days are bright and beautiful. We pretend that we’re alright.

Now the bright days are shorter, and the dark nights are longer. We can no longer pretend.

And you can no longer hide. For Mr Hyde and Dr Jekyll are one and the same.


Thank you for reading.

Love, Nicole.

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