Hey Friend

you end up not speaking
you fear making me ‘not nice’
when i’m not that nice
in the first place

you hesitate because 
you think i’m perfect
you don’t want to
corrupt my niceness

i’m not
i just want you to see me
as i am
i’m me

why do you leave me alone
in your insecurities
you cause mine to rise up
and we both drown

we’re both insecure
we both fear
and we both want
the same things

a hand to hold
a shoulder to cry on
a place to be
a friend to cherish

so hold my hand
hug me close
tell me your secrets
and i’ll tell you mine

i’m not nice
i’m not perfect
i’m me
and i want to be
your friend
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Fear

So my poem Fear has been published in a magazine! The Hourglass magazine is now available in print here.

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Some of the proceeds will go to the schooling of less fortunate children in the Philippines. The publishers will donate to a charity, Virlanie Foundation and will also give books to a family support group in Philippine General Hospital during Christmas.

I’m rather excited as it’s my first poem in print! My pen name is Nicolet WW, and it’s the first time I’m seeing it written that way and I’m so excited.

Please do support me by getting the magazine!

Thank you for reading.

Nicole.

Sun and Moon

I’m like the tide.

I’m pulled and tugged, and laid to rest by you.

Your anger, your sorrows, all your whims and fancy, they are the source of my indecisiveness.

Your cries, they pierce through me.

You cry, and say love me.

Yet when I hold you close, you stab me, you wound me, before you push me away to bleed.

When I hold you, you unravel me, you break me, and you push me away to rot alone.


 

I’m like the tide.

And you hold power over me.

I would like to say that you’re the moon, the orb that shines in the sky guiding me in the dark nights.

But you’re the one that leads me astray, with lights and illusions, and paths not meant to be taken.

I would like to say you’re the sun, that brings life, that brings light to my life.

But you’re the one that burns me, with your heat and temperament, and you leave me to dry under your gaze.

Like the sun, and the moon, that plays with the tide, you play with my emotions, you play with my life.


 

I’m like the tide.

And I will not forget your hold over me.

There is not a day that passes that I do not think of you. There is not a day that passes that my heart does not weep for you.

Our roots are tangled up together, our bodies intertwined. There is no escaping fate, there is no escaping reality.

We will never be rid of each other, we will never part for too long. We can only bend away, move away, further and further, our eyes refusing to glance at each other.

Even in death we will meet again.

For you surround me, and I cannot escape.

I am but the tide.

And you are my Sun and my Moon.

Poets In Progress Workshop #1

So I attended a poetry workshop recently. I wanted to experience how it was going to a poetry workshop and it was pretty interesting.

zohan

 

It was hosted by If Walls Could Talk – Poetry Open Mic, organized by the amazing Ms Melizarani (I love her poems too!).

TL;DR: PRETTY EPIC. YOU SHOULD GO FOR THE OTHER POETRY WORKSHOPS BY IWCT-POM.

Continue reading “Poets In Progress Workshop #1”

Medical Books TBR

Tumblr has the best sources for stuff that I like. I’ve been following some Medblrs, and they’ve come up with a list of books that every doctor should attempt to read.

Being a lover of books, I’ve decided to put the list up in case anyone would like to get them for me *hint*, or if you’d like to purchase them for yourself to enjoy. I’ll probably update this list from time to time too.

But here they are!


 

Recommended:

1. Every Patient Tells A Story – Lisa Sanders M.D.
2. Informed Consent – Benjamin J. Brown M.D.
3. Medical School Admissions Guide – Suzanne Miller
4. Medical School Interview – Fleenor
5. The Mindful Medical Student – Jeremy Spiegel
6. Med School Confidential – Robert H. Miller
7. Becoming A Physician – Jennifer Danek
8. On Call – Emily R. Transue M.D.
9. Hot Lights, Cold Steel – Michael J. Collins
10. Blue Collar, Blue Scrubs – Michael J. Collins
11. The Night Shift – Brian Goldman
12. The House of God – Samuel Shem
13. Kill As Few Patients As Possible (And 56 other ways on how to be the world’s best doctor) – Oscar London
14. The Secret Language of Doctors – Brian Goldman
15. How Doctors Think – Jerome Groopman
16. First, Do No Harm – Lisa Belkin
17. Better – Atul Gawande
18. Complications – Atul Gawande
19. Being Mortal – Atul Gawande
20. The Checklist Manifesto – Atul Gawande
21. The Real Doctor Will See you Shortly – Matt Mccarthy
22. Final Exam: A Surgeon’s Reflections on Mortality – Pauline Chen

 

 


 

That’s all for today’s random blog post.

Thank you for reading!

Love, Nicole.

Lies and Pretense

My memories of the past

Have always contained you

At the heart of it all

For you built my core.

In the present filled with pain

I cannot fathom why

Where has the you gone?

The you that I knew so well.

You were my light

So benevolent and kind

You taught me to live

And I would live for you.

Yet I am led to believe

That I’ve been wrong all along

That maybe you’ve always hurt

Covered in despair and darkness.

I was blinded by your pretense

Of alrights and I’m fine

I saw only what I wanted to see

Never the pain you hid inside.

My eyes were blinded

To the real you that hurt me

I tried to believe instead

That you were just drunk on lies.

I cannot look away now

I cannot unhear

The truth of the words you spill

From your lips that smells like alcohol.

I mourn for the you

That shined so brightly before

The you that I hope

Was not a lie from the start.


Continue reading “Lies and Pretense”

The Distance Between Us

Today, like any other day

I thought of you and I cried

I’m here

And you are so far away.

There are too many miles between our hearts

Too many hurdles to overcome

Too little words between us

Not spoken in anger and regret.

And yet

With one word from you

I would throw it all

Just to be back with you.

Even though I know

This peace won’t last

Because you are who you are

And I too, am who I am.

Tomorrow

We will not fight anymore

Only tears left drying

On tombstones in graveyards.


Continue reading “The Distance Between Us”