Yay! As of 8.30pm on the 21st of November, I’ve validated my novel, and won NaNoWriMo 2015~
Month: November 2015
Poets In Progress Workshop #1
So I attended a poetry workshop recently. I wanted to experience how it was going to a poetry workshop and it was pretty interesting.
It was hosted by If Walls Could Talk – Poetry Open Mic, organized by the amazing Ms Melizarani (I love her poems too!).
TL;DR: PRETTY EPIC. YOU SHOULD GO FOR THE OTHER POETRY WORKSHOPS BY IWCT-POM.
Medical Books TBR
Tumblr has the best sources for stuff that I like. I’ve been following some Medblrs, and they’ve come up with a list of books that every doctor should attempt to read.
Being a lover of books, I’ve decided to put the list up in case anyone would like to get them for me *hint*, or if you’d like to purchase them for yourself to enjoy. I’ll probably update this list from time to time too.
But here they are!
Recommended:
1. Every Patient Tells A Story – Lisa Sanders M.D.
2. Informed Consent – Benjamin J. Brown M.D.
3. Medical School Admissions Guide – Suzanne Miller
4. Medical School Interview – Fleenor
5. The Mindful Medical Student – Jeremy Spiegel
6. Med School Confidential – Robert H. Miller
7. Becoming A Physician – Jennifer Danek
8. On Call – Emily R. Transue M.D.
9. Hot Lights, Cold Steel – Michael J. Collins
10. Blue Collar, Blue Scrubs – Michael J. Collins
11. The Night Shift – Brian Goldman
12. The House of God – Samuel Shem
13. Kill As Few Patients As Possible (And 56 other ways on how to be the world’s best doctor) – Oscar London
14. The Secret Language of Doctors – Brian Goldman
15. How Doctors Think – Jerome Groopman
16. First, Do No Harm – Lisa Belkin
17. Better – Atul Gawande
18. Complications – Atul Gawande
19. Being Mortal – Atul Gawande
20. The Checklist Manifesto – Atul Gawande
21. The Real Doctor Will See you Shortly – Matt Mccarthy
22. Final Exam: A Surgeon’s Reflections on Mortality – Pauline Chen
That’s all for today’s random blog post.
Thank you for reading!
Love, Nicole.
Lies and Pretense
My memories of the past
Have always contained you
At the heart of it all
For you built my core.
–
In the present filled with pain
I cannot fathom why
Where has the you gone?
The you that I knew so well.
–
You were my light
So benevolent and kind
You taught me to live
And I would live for you.
–
Yet I am led to believe
That I’ve been wrong all along
That maybe you’ve always hurt
Covered in despair and darkness.
–
I was blinded by your pretense
Of alrights and I’m fine
I saw only what I wanted to see
Never the pain you hid inside.
–
My eyes were blinded
To the real you that hurt me
I tried to believe instead
That you were just drunk on lies.
–
I cannot look away now
I cannot unhear
The truth of the words you spill
From your lips that smells like alcohol.
–
I mourn for the you
That shined so brightly before
The you that I hope
Was not a lie from the start.
The Distance Between Us
Today, like any other day
I thought of you and I cried
I’m here
And you are so far away.
–
There are too many miles between our hearts
Too many hurdles to overcome
Too little words between us
Not spoken in anger and regret.
–
And yet
With one word from you
I would throw it all
Just to be back with you.
–
Even though I know
This peace won’t last
Because you are who you are
And I too, am who I am.
–
Tomorrow
We will not fight anymore
Only tears left drying
On tombstones in graveyards.
Love
I hunger for love
Your love is like the rain
Sometimes it pours
And sometimes
It doesn’t rain at all.
Love, Nicole.
Haikus
Tonight I can’t sleep
For you are sad and lonely
And I am the cause.
You tell me to change
My mindset that blames myself
When you are to blame.
The turmoil inside
For you are the hurricane
That has shattered me.
I miss you so much
In all the ways that matter
Yet you don’t miss me.
I still bear the scars
From the words you hurl at me
Please let them be lies.
My heart beats weakly
Burdened by hurts and sorrows
And your heart is free.
Can’t you see the truth
That my love for you is true
You wish to be blind.
I can’t feel happy
Your jealousy eats my joys
So I cry instead.
Both of us are sad
We are both filled with regrets
And not enough words.
I can only write
My emotions on this page
I hope you see them.
Love, Nicole.
I’m Lonely Too
Tonight I try to forget
but the aches you left on me
resonates
with your loneliness.
Love, Nicole.
Recover
Till today
I cannot fathom
Why is it that you hurt
Me and you
Everyday
In every way
–
I cannot remember
A time when
You were happy
And I was too
I cannot remember
A time when
We did not fight
–
I’ve always tried to pretend
That the words you say
Were just words
Nothing but the alcohol
Using your mouth
As a speaker
–
Now
I can no longer pretend
Because alcohol doesn’t speak for you
It helps you
Loosen the words
You’ve kept deep inside
–
You have always thought
Of me as nothing but
A burden
A bastard
A bitch
Useless and weak
–
Those words have always
Cut me inside
I kept them hidden
As if they were a secret
They were the words
You proclaimed upon me
–
So when others call me
Strong
Brave
Selfless
I cannot believe them
I cannot understand
–
I try so hard
To make you happy
I try every day
Not to say the words
That will trigger you
To rage and doubt
–
I try day after day
To make it right
So that your life
Will be better
Than you could ever imagine
In this lifetime
–
And yet
With one single word
You can turn it
Upside down
Into chaos
And fear
–
How can I make it better
When you choose not to
When you choose to take
The path
To sorrow
To regrets
–
I blame myself
For everything
I blame myself
Because
I am the key
To your misery
–
Others yell at me
Others tell me
That’s not true
That its you
Who should have changed
Who should have apologized
–
But I cannot
Because you have ingrained in me
That your life
Was irrevocably damaged
Because of my
Very existence
–
And when blows are exchanged
When you start to hit me
All I can do
Is to let you
Use me
As a punching bag
–
Tomorrow
You will wake up
And remember the night
As nothing more
Than
A nightmare
–
You will start to regret
But only a little
And you will say
Oh
I am so sorry
Forgive me
–
Despite your apology
Your honest regret
You still leave bruises
Over my skin
You still leave scars
Over my heart
–
One day
Some day
I will recover
But will you?
Will we take that step
Together?
An attempt in poetry.
Thank you for reading.
Love, Nicole.
Shadowed
#MYWritersWritingPrompt – Week 45/2015
Write a piece of micro-fiction/non-fiction/poetry in English or Malay inspired by this image – word count: between 50 to 200 words.
Tulis sebuah certot/esei/puisi dalam Bahasa Inggeris atau Melayu berilhamkan gambar berikut – antara 50 hingga 200 patah perkataan.
Picture can be obtained from here.
Why is it that she gets all the glory? Why don’t I get a mention? I hate how we do the exact same things and yet she’s the one that gets all the recognition! In the end she’s the one they all praise, and I’m the one they blatantly ignore. It’s not fair! Sometimes I stand right beside her, and there they still turn away from me!
I want to be the one that they all talk to for once. I don’t want to be chased away in the darkness anymore. I don’t want to be hidden away.
In fact, I’ll do it today. I’ll take her place. I will no longer be her shadow. I will not be shadowed.
Thank you for reading!
Love, Nicole.
Victorious Heart 